Find out the best way to help your friend get the support they need.
Living with a Black Box
Millions of people around the world live with depression. “Living with a black dog” is a guide for partners, carers and sufferers of depression. It advises those living with and caring for people with depression on what to do, what not to do, and where to go for help.
Help a friend in distress
If you think your friend might be suicidal…
Initiate a dialogue
Voice your concern
Asking questions like “Do you feel so bad that you are considering suicide?” can help you start a conversation. Make sure your friend understand you are concern about their well being and not trying to judge them.
Be willing to listen
Listen to what they have to say
Listening to their concerns can take them a long way. Make sure you are attentive and that they feel comfortable. Take everything they say seriously and do not assume that the situation will resolve itself.
Offer hope
Let them know you care
Offer them comfort by letting them know that you care and that they are not alone. Feelings of depression can be overwhelming but they are temporary and problems can be solved. Make sure to together plan on another time to talk so you can check up on them.
Encourage them to seek help
Be supportive
Seeking help is considered to be an important step towards accessing appropriate mental health support and improving quality of life. Barriers to help-seeking can include difficulties in accessing support, concerns about confidentiality and trust, a preference for informal sources of help, and stigma. Be compassionate and offer reassurance if seeking help is difficult for them.
Warning Signs
If someone you know is experiencing one or multiple of the following signs, they might be at risk of hurting themselves.
- Uncontrollable sadness or extended depression
- Lack of energy
- Hopelessness
- Helplessness
- Aggression
- Increased risky behaviors
- Withdrawal from friends
- Giving away prized possessions
- Changes in eating habits
- Changes in sleeping habits
- Lack of interest in personal appearance
- Comments like “It will be over soon” or “People will be better off without me”
- Talking about previous suicide attempts
- Talking about feelings trapped or feeling unbearable pain
ACE Method
Ask, Care, Escort
Ask your buddy
- Have the courage to ask them the question, but stay calm
- Ask the question directly: “Are you thinking of killing yourself?”
Care for your buddy
- Calmly control the situation; do not use force; be safe
- Actively listen to show understanding and produce relief
- Remove any means that could be used for self-injury
Escort your buddy
- Never leave the buddy alone
- Escort to chain of command, Chaplain, behavioral health professional, or primary care provider.